Not everyone understands the concept of Fear of Success, but many people know exactly what that means. Others recognise it once the symptoms are described to them. It's something that affects an equal number of men and women, boys and girls.
Most theories suggest that this fear starts in childhood. Parents and siblings, teachers and friends, and other family members can all play a role in the development of this fear.
Even as adults, we get this from family, friends, work, and society at large. Some of us buy into this, subconsciously but thoroughly. Fear of success manifests itself in many ways. We deny our competence by saying it was luck, a miracle, the help of others. We become preoccupied with being evaluated by others. We feel intense anxiety at the thought of being in competition or conflict with powerful or important people.
We may have chronic feelings of inadequacy, and if we get too close to our success, we feel like a fraud or phony, and we fear being found out. We lack self-confidence although we may put on a show of bravado. We're afraid of asserting our rights or desires for fear of inconveniencing, hurting, or depriving someone else. We may feel suspicious, inhibited, or guilty. We may be over-controlling or over-compliant (at least on the surface.) We self-sabotage when we find ourselves uncomfortably close to achieving our desires.
Robert Kennedy once said, “only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” The most successful people see adversity not as a stumbling block, but as a stepping stone to greatness. Indeed early failure is often the fuel for the very ideas that eventually transform industries and reinvent careers. My favourite story is Walt Disney being fired from a newspaper for not being creative enough, and the Beatles being turned away from a record executive who told them “guitar groups are on the way out”. Psychologists actually recommend that we fail early and often. We can only deal with failure once we have actually experienced failure.
So the question remains how high can we jump?
A good example to demonstrate this point comes from an experiment done with jumping frogs. Several frogs were each placed in separate glass jars, and covered with a lid to prevent them escaping. Food, air, and water were provide for them. At first the frogs kept jumping trying to escape, but each time they would hit their head on the lid. After 30 days the lids were removed.
Although the lids were not there anymore, the frogs never jumped out of the jars, even though they could have easily done so.
During the 30 days the frogs were kept in the jars, they learnt that they could not escape from the jar. In essence, they formed a belief that the top of the jar was as high as they could go. Even when the lid was removed, this limiting belief system kept them where they were.
This simple experiment shows us the power of our belief systems. We all formed certain beliefs as a result of failure, many of us still hold onto those beliefs even though they are no longer true, and are limiting our true potential.
To realise your true potential you must therefore realise that this is no lid on the jar, and that you can jump out...
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