Bullying is an activity which most people associate with their school days. The playground bully is a well-established stereotype. Sadly, bullying does not disappear when you walk out the school gates for the last time.
Work bullies aren't much different than schoolyard bullies. They victimise people they perceive to be weaker and smaller. To feel better about themselves, they try to make others feel insignificant. It can be a real shock to people when they find themselves, as an adult, being bullied by another adult. Unfortunately it is an all too common complaint in the workplace. The workplace is no place for a bully. The cost is too high.
Here are a few tips on how to deal with bullies in the workplace:
Recognise a bully - A bully is a person who is habitually cruel to others they perceive to be weaker than themselves and use browbeating language and behavior. Although we often think of bullies as big people dominating smaller folk, they are truly 'little' in every way.
Respect yourself - As soon as you encounter behavior that is not acceptable to you, put an immediate end to it. If you allow anyone to make inappropriate comments on more than one occasion you set a dangerous precedent and it becomes more difficult to stop. Let the bully know you are aware of their unacceptable behavior. You have to call the bully on their behavior. You can do this without being aggressive. Simply let them know that you recognise what they are doing, as this will solidify your suspicions about abuse if they become defensive.
Confront the bully - Take steps to force the bully to stop the behavior. If the bullying becomes worse, or the bully ignores your demand to stop, you will have to go to the proper authorities and report the person. Before you report them you need to document their behavior, and make a report in writing. This will help you communicate to this person's boss that they are a problem.
Speak to your manager or a senior colleague - It is rare for a bully to pick on just one person in the office. Arrange a meeting with your manager (or another senior colleague if your manager is the problem) to see if the bully has a track record within the company. They may already be on their way out.
Avoidance - Deal with the bully as little as possible in the future. Once you have dealt with a workplace bully one on one, it is best to not become too friendly with them. Have business interaction as necessary, and keep them at an arm's length at all times.
Don't let the bully drag down - Make sure that you have things to look forward to outside work, like evening classes, going to the gym, seeing your friends etc, as your confidence will receive a much needed boost.
Final thought - If the bully owns the business, then you may want to look elsewhere for a job and allow them to self destruct without taking you down with them.
Simon Boulton is Director of accounting and finance recruitment practice Aequalis Consulting. He has more than 12 years of finance recruitment experience in London and Sydney, where he has launched multiple divisions for international companies. At Aequalis Consulting, he provides tailored strategies for companies in various industries to attract and retain the most talented professionals in the market. Visit www.aequalisconsulting.com.au.
